HEADLINES

I love sports news headlines, you know, the ones that you just can’t resist. The ones that lure you into reading the article, even if it’s not a sport you are in a habit of following. I’m going to rattle off a few examples and follow each with opening sentences that also get you interested in what the article is all about. For the sake of brevity, you will have to fill in the total article with your own imagination.

THEY FIRED THEIR CAPTAIN?

I always thought that the captain of the team was your leader, the guy that the other players emulated and went to the wall with. Apparently the Tampa Bay Lightning of the NHL felt that their 42 year- old captain Dave Andreychuk could no longer keep up with the speed of “the new NHL.” He was assigned to their AHL affiliate but need not report and he will still be paid his NHL salary. One can only hope that those on the team, who went to the wall with him, won’t blindly follow him to the door.

STOMP AND SHOOT

OK, he didn’t shoot, but everyone saw his stomp. What was he thinking? Marcus Vick stomped on the leg of an opponent’s leg in the Gator Bowl, and this lead to his expulsion from his team at Virginia Tech. He follows that up a few days later with being charged with brandishing a firearm. Granted, he has not been convicted, but it will be interesting to see how much NFL money he has seen go down the drain with these actions, Incredible!

THE SKELETON IS OUT OF THE CLOSET NOW

A New York Supreme Court Justice upheld the suspension of US Skeleton Coach Tim Nardello. Nardello has been facing two sexual harassment charges against him and he has vowed to continue his appeal. Millions of US sports fans have reacted by wondering, “how do you race on a skeleton?”

EARLY “APRES SKI?”

I thought you were supposed to have that Hot Buttered Rum sitting around the roaring fire after you had challenged the slopes. US skier Bode Miller a World Cup Champion is in hot water with skiing officials after admitting to skiing after drinking. Always a bit of a rebel, Miller may have finally found the bottom of that slippery slope.

SOME RECENT HEARDLINES

THEY SAID IT

Post this one on the locker room bulletin board.

“We proved it one time. What we have to do is prove it again.” Adewale Ogunleye saying that the Panthers don’t deserve to be considered a Super Bowl Team and that the Bears proved that the last time they played.

HALL OF FAMER

“It was a call you always hope for, but never really expect it to happen.” Bruce Sutter commenting on hearing that he had been elected to Baseball’s Hall of Fame on his thirteenth time on the ballot. Only the fourth relief pitcher ever elected, adding that he had cried when he heard and “I didn’t think it would affect me or hit me as hard as it did.”

JAMES PAUL “SPORTY” SPN CORRESPONDENT

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